#and i feel like i'm inconveniencing everyone

[perseus-oh-my-perseus]

Uh... contrary to what popular belief would be, I typically go for a fancier look when I'm running late. Like, I'll originally plan for something like sweatpants and a I-truly-do-not-care shirt, and I'll have that stuff on, but when I'm running late, I just tend to. Change, ya know? I'll throw on some jeans, some jewelry, my boots, and I'll try to fluff up my shirt. I'll just be running out while putting on my makeup when I originally woke up planning to deadpan-glare my way through the day.

I love rain! No matter how inconveniencing, it always manages to lighten my mood because it reminds me to throw expectations out the window and say 'fuck it' and move on with a pep in my step. As much as I need sun, I also like my rain because it gives my light-sensitive eyes a break. It reminds me that I am alive just like everyone else I see and that the reality I see before me is real; and half the time I don't even realize that I'm starting to feel like a passenger in my own life. It's my own little break, it's my self-indulgence, it's my laughing in others' faces because they're annoyed at the rain when I've never felt so alive.

I'd say my laugh is different with a shitty joke. It's more of a kneel-over barking laughter that makes me start crying and my stomach her kind of laughter that takes me by surprise and leaves me with my eyes a little brighter, my smile a little more mischievous as we share that little moment of joy and humanity that we know will leave but we are both okay with it because it will come again. It's also got this sort of delay when I'm in the moment and enjoying myself where it'd take me a little bit to register it happening (delayed audio processing my beloved <3 /lh /s), and then the joke itself, and then I'll laugh and it'd be a little embarrassing that such a joke took so long--especially when I'm the only one to react to it--but everything washes over eventually, so it'll be alright.

I'd duck and scream. Honestly and genuinely, on Jupiter, that will be my reaction. I hate insects and I hate the unknown, so I will react accordingly because I don't know what it is or if that bee will sting me. And yes, this is a genuine, heart-gripping fear :(. I don't mind existing and I even respect how and why they Work, but I genuinely, truly and utterly, hate them flying near me because of the unknowns :(. I could give you a whole psycho-analysis about it, tbh, but that's not the conversation of today :).

I have two moods when delving deep into a good fanfic or book--either hilarious, I-forget-that-I'm-being-perceived faces (usually when I'm in public or in an otherwise populated/I Need To Be Aware Enough Of Reality To Remember I And Said Reality Exists space), or a truly and utterly, devoid of any expression or mental existence, deadpan/resting bitchface that leaves people concerned for my well-being and me totally and utterly unaware of my surroundings bc I'm just That Deep Within The Book. Both are equally likely to happen no matter the book or my involvement within it, it is just a product of being so very easily lost into hyperfocus when occupied with something but also unable to be bored/not doing anything. So... there we go! This happens with pretty much anything--me acting out so I remember my existence and Presence Within Reality, or just going completely dead to the world out of hyperfocus and/or being mentally drained (and the amount of hours I've lost after functions/long days- wow-)

Another thing I'd like to say, since we're already sorta on the topic of it, is that I make the cutest and most innocent facial expressions when my name is called/I'm being brought out of a focus/my attention is being shifted. One of my teachers literally Stops what she is doing when calling roll/being distracted by the monotonous of things when she calls my name because my nose is usually deep into a book/something I'm doing that I literally pop my head up, frown, and glance around to figure out where I am, before looking up and smiling to say that I'm here and then immediately burying my nose back into whatever I was doing. She. Stops. to do this with me :)). Each & every day I have her class :)). This happens in a lot of things too! It's just that look of genuine confusion about Everything like after a good and deep nap that leaves you wondering what day it is and what the concept of time is :)). I think about this interaction constantly :))

As for the other things? I've never had coffee a day in my life and I don't plan on it for a long time. I hate soda. I'm my own worst asshole and I will do things against the best interest of myself--for the better or the worse. I talk and genuinely feel as though I am not doing enough even though I am gone for nearly 18 hours a day on the regular. I am genuinely injured and still will go through that process and the back and forths of wondering if it's worth enough to take a break and also feeling like I've already taken too many breaks. I will worry needlessly over projects and grades despite having numerous past experiences telling me I'll do well because I'm worried that, as soon as I let my guard down, that will be it. I actively and vocally bargain my own fate almost 90% of the time because I, again, am my own worst asshole and, again, I worry that I'll drop the ball with my own cockiness on something I need. If left waiting/in an event where I'm merely watching instead of doing or I need to focus on something/kill time so I don't become a nervous wreck, I will start conducting a fake band with absolutely no rhythm than my own anxiety. I will also start tap-dancing with my boots (I have never tap-danced or seen tap-dancing a day in my life), and I have a much worse lung capacity than someone my age and ✨skill level✨ should have. But I am great at lessening anxiety around me, listening to people/talking through theirs, and joking around about my own stresses because I deserve it and it helps me too :)).

I also absolutely & utterly hate loud, unnecessary, and sudden noises--the second one especially when overstimulated!

Long distance relationships suck. I want to know so much more than what you text me.

I want to know what kind of outfit you pick when you're running terribly late. What's your first reaction to rain. If your laugh is different when it's caused by a shitty joke. How you react to a bee flying by. What expressions you have when reading a very good book...

All those things you find insignificant about yourself, I want to know them. I know there is so much to love about you that I will miss if I'm not close enough.

[pharawee]

I already love Chef Shin so much for making gluten-free cake 🥰

(But also the fact that at one point the subs said "comPeach" instead of compete. Genius. Give this series an award!)

[coquelicoq]

i could be convinced that it's acceptable for one person to use all of the washers in the communal laundry room at the same time. i wouldn't do it myself, but i don't know your life, maybe that is really making a difference to you. but i do hold that if you do that, you absolutely must set a timer and come back within let's say five minutes of the washers finishing, to switch your laundry to the dryers, thus freeing up the washers (all of them, which you are using at the same time) for one of the dozens of other people with whom you share the use of these appliances. i really feel like that is not asking that much? like you can leave your clothes in the washer half an hour after the load finishes, I GUESS (but again! how is this not rude!), but only if there are other open washers?? did you miss the 60% of kindergarten that is about sharing. what's not clickingggg

[syn0vial]

someone please deprogram me from feeling like i've committed cold-blooded murder every time i have to ask for a sick day from work

[goatsandgangsters]

even though I moved out of state, my boss is making me commute in once a week, which is a FOUR HOUR TRAIN each way, on my own dime, in order to—and I shit you not—open PowerPoint for teaching faculty bc this is apparently beyond their ability

and the CHERRY on this kafkaesque sundae of bullshit, is that I got stranded 50 miles from my destination at 9 pm last night due to flooding on the tracks and I had to split an Uber with three strangers to go the rest of the way

so that I could spend 5 minutes opening PowerPoint today.

[sagaschan]

It is so much easier to be inexplicable no expectations that mean anything and no one to attempt to pry a little deeper, why is that unattainable in this economy

[fragglerockopinions]

.

[basicshift]

They start once we get over our crippling anxiety over rejection and fear of being a bother to others--two completely valid struggles! But I know we can do it!

So like, how do you flirt with your trans girl mutuals? Do you just like their t4t thirst posts and selfies? When do the DMs about spitting in each other's mouths start?

[youhavereachedtheendofpie]

why is my voice still fucked up and why are my lungs so so itchy 😭

[waffliesinyoface]

Thinking about Envy from FMA and why he acts like that. Specifically, why he seems to take such vindictive pleasure in killing.

He doesn't have any loved ones. At all. And it fucking burns inside of him.

When he takes the form of Gracia to kill Hughes, and when he taunts Marco with the destruction of his village, despite what he claims about "humans not having the guts to make the logical choice", there's nothing logical about it, it's purely out of spite. It's "you have something that I don't. You have someone you love and someone who loves you back. Fuck you. I'm going to hurt you with it."

On the Promised Day, when he finally confesses to Hughes' murder, the reason is simple: Mustang loved Hughes. Hughes is dead but Mustang is still doggedly pursuing his killer. And Envy hates that he doesn't have that. He hates the fact that Hughes and Mustang were so close that Mustang would go to the ends of the earth to avenge his death, but if Envy died, no one would care. At most, Father would be inconvenienced, but not angry.

At the end, when he's trying to get everyone to start fighting and kill each other, it's because he's genuinely having a breakdown. Half the people in that room have very good reasons to want the other half dead. But they're still working together. Even if they're not exactly friends, they're still able to form bonds. Envy looks at Scar - a man who, justifiably or not, was a mass murderer - and Rita/Mustang - people who, even if they feel guilty, still participated in a genocide - and it drives him off the deep end. Because after everything they've done, people are still willing to stand by them. And Envy can't say the same.

[eatember]

the "neglected in childhood" urge to tuck into a project without fully understanding it because confusion and fear in the face of attempted competence feels normal only to disappoint yourself and others send tweet

[spacedace]

Jon, Kon, Tim and Damian all chatting, and start musing on their various anxieties about going dark side and how they would stop each other.

Elle wanders in and only catches the last bit where Jon and Damian are referencing world domination and is just like:

Elle: Oh, are we going dark side? Who do you guys need me to fight? I can body just about anyone in the League but I'm pretty sure Batman had some tricks up his sleeve to deal with me so we'll have to account for that. I know you guys aren't gonna want to kill anyone in your families, but I'm pretty sure I could alter the nightmare dimension to be less, you know, nightmare-y while still keeping it inescapable so that's an option -

Jon: W h a t

Damian: We are not going "dark side" Nightingale...probably.

Jon: Definitely! Definitely no dark side!

Elle, relieved: Oh thank the Ancients, that was gonna be such a bummer

Tim: Jesus Christ you didn't even hesitate

Kon: You didn't even need any kind of justification. Did you just hear Jon say "take over the world" and that was all you needed???

Elle: I mean, yeah? I wouldn't be happy about it but I'm not just gonna let Jolly and Day go and take over the world without me.

Jon: I'm not sure if I should feel touched or worried...

Damian: Are you seriously saying your loyalty to us is greater than your duty to the world?

Elle: Day I would crack the universe in half and devour the souls everyone who ever so much mildly inconvenienced you two if you asked.

Tim & Kon: *fear.jpg*

[hedgehog-moss]

This very daft dog managed to get a little stick he found in the woods stuck in his throat in such a way that the vet had to sedate him to remove it and everyone thought he was suffocating to death.

(Everyone = me and the llamas, who looked either concerned or inconvenienced* by the sounds Pandolf was making when he came to find me in the pasture like "help I'm dying") (* hard to tell with llamas)

Of course he chose to have a near-death experience on a Saturday afternoon 15min before the vet clinic closed until Monday and of course no one picked up when I called the clinic to ask them to please not close, so I had to drive very fast and hope for the best 😭

(when I was waiting at the vet for Pan to wake up from anaesthesia I met this chewable toy llama and sent the pic to my mum like "ha, look, it's a llama. For dogs" and 30min later when I was on my way home with Pandolf she replied to my text like "I hope you bought it for Pandolf!! he deserves it!" and she made me feel like a monster for not buying Pandolf a toy to reward him for swallowing a stick. He already has three chewable llamas at home, come on.)

He's okay!! Not very proud of himself (tail firmly between legs) but grateful to be able to breathe and feeling confusedly flattered because everyone at the vet petted him and called him brave and soft-eared

[harunayuuka2060]

Cater: Idia-chan~.

Idia: Shit.

Idia: Wh-What is it?

Cater: Have you ever seen MC get mad about something?

Idia: No. They're pretty calm about things. Why do you ask?

Cater: Don't you want to make them jealous?

Idia: Are you serious? No.

Cater: Aw come on~! It's normal for couples to have a fight or two!

Idia: Are you kidding me? That's BS. And don't think I don't even know what you're trying to do here, you Trey and MC shipper.

Cater: Oh. So you're aware.

Idia: ...

Idia: Ah.

Idia: ...

Idia: Do you want to see them get mad?

Cater: Yes~

Idia: I will report you. I'd tell them that you're harassing me.

Cater: I- No! I was just joking! T~T

Riddle: Would you be mad if ever Idia-senpai found someone else?

MC: ...

MC: I don't think I quite understand your question, Riddle.

Riddle: ...

Riddle: Let me rephrase it. When Idia-senpai finds someone he truly loves, would you be mad about it?

MC: ...

MC: *smiles* Of course not. I will respect Idia's wishes if ever it comes to that.

Riddle: ...Wow. No wonder Ortho is very supportive of you two.

Riddle: But then, is there anything that can make you angry?

MC: Hmm... I couldn't think of anything.

Riddle: *chuckles* It's fine if there isn't any.

MC: Idia, why are you playing with my face?

Idia: I'm trying to see what you will look like when you're angry.

MC: ?

MC: Why?

Idia: That's what everyone is curious about.

MC: Oh.

MC: ...

MC: You could tell that I barely show my anger to anyone.

Idia: ...

Idia: You can hide that you're angry?

MC: I suppose?

Idia: ...

Idia: When I'm inconveniencing you, please tell me. Don't keep it to yourself.

MC: *nods* *smiles* Okay. I'll be always honest with you, Idia.

Idia: ...

Idia: *blushes a little*

Idia: ...

Idia: Let's sleep now. We still have classes tomorrow.

MC: Okay.

Ortho: ...

Ortho: Brother, you're developing romantic feelings for MC, right?

Idia: *almost dropped his game console*

Idia: Wh-What are you saying?

Ortho: *giggles*

Ortho: I checked your vitals.

Idia: ...

[noyzinerd]

Derek teaching unknown werewolf societal/cultural facts to Stiles is cute, and I love that for them, truly, but I want to see the reverse.

We're always hearing about when someone (usually Stiles) asks a naive question about werewolves and Derek going "No, you idiot! It doesn't work like that!" As if it's common knowledge that everyone should know, when in reality there's no possible way Stiles (or any average person, for that matter) could know that.

And I'm sure in Derek's world, stuff like silver not actually being effective against werewolves is a no-brainer or spotting a Kitsune is laughably easy, but not to the common bystander.

So, instead, I'd love to see the random, human customs and social norms Stiles would find himself needing to explain to Derek when they start living together. Stuff that the human family members of his pack never displayed because they had been raised surrounded by werewolves their entire lives.

From all the small things like how, when you get a canker sore or lose a filling, you always gotta stick your tongue in it. ("No, we don't want to do it. It hurts like hell, actually. It's just something we do. Don't ask me why. I honestly couldn't tell you. It's the same with picking scabs or pressing down on bruises.")

Or like how you're not supposed to eat the weird, little black nub at the bottom of the banana. ("I don't care if it's composed of the exact same stuff as the rest of the banana, that's so fucking gross 🤢")

Or like how you have to walk around ladders instead of under them ("Because otherwise you'll get bad luck, Derek!")

Or how, for a short time in history, a man wearing a singular earring on his left ear meant that he was gay for some reason. Or was it the right ear? ("Hey, listen, man, I didn't make these dumb rules!")

Or how you can't pick up a penny off the ground unless the face side is heads up ("Yes, it's another 'good luck, bad luck' thing. We actually have a lot of those, now that I think about it.")

Or how if someone far away sees you coming and holds the door open for you, you very specifically have to do a customary tiny wave or acknowledging nod before doing a small little half trot-half jog that isn't too slow or too fast all the way to the door. ("Because you don't want to take up their time, but also you don't want them to think they've inconvenienced you. Yeah, no, I get that they already have, but you don't want THEM to know that.")

All the way up to things like the weird history of Coke Zero, even though Diet Coke is essentially the same thing. ("Oh, now see, that's actually pretty interesting. And by interesting, I mean dumb and terrible. See, in the 80's, Coke only ever marketed Diet Coke as a 'woman's drink', so when they finally decided to expand their demographic, they had to spend millions of dollars to undo their own conditioning because their women's only Diet Coke campaign had been so successful, it took decades for men to stop associating drinking diet soda with being gay or effeminate.")

Just so Derek can finally know what it feels like to be on the other end of "common sense."

[bunabi]

long ass dav thoughts (I'm almost seven hours in now)

Strife is kinda my world fr....I love his voice...I think I need him...

The codex entries are great; I've been reading them all.

The overworld exploration gives me MMO vibes, especially with those chests and rarity-graded items, but I don't dislike it. The areas are a nice size, and there's enough branching paths to keep them interesting. And I get to find new venues & vistas for photo-ops lol most importantly.

The aggressive tonal options really blow. Devastatingly. The gap between the dialogue wheel text and the executed dialogue is too much. Whenever I have Natalene go in for the kill she throws a softball. I knew this was the case but I'm still disappointed.

I said this on stream but: I wish characters treated these events with more levity. The return of the Creators, being stuck in a Veil Bubble, being physically inside the Fade. Everyone seems more inconvenienced than terrified. Maybe this will improve deeper into the game??

After practicing a little I actually really like the combat. I wish I wasn't playing a mage because landing a parry is super satisfying. The battles are so chaotic, though. Rook is constantly drawing enemy aggro, and focusing on one target only to get assblasted by three ranged attacks isn't fun.

This might just be a symptom of the early chapters, but it feels like NPCs and companions repeat themselves a lot, reminding me of the objective and information I just learned. The recaps at the end of every mission are also a little much. Please trust my ability to retain knowledge.

The dialogue has been hit or miss at times. I don't necessarily mean the quips or companions making light of situations that should be more consequential, but things like...Harding explaining to Rook that Dwarves are disconnected from the Fade lol. I hope this is also just an early chapter thing.

Pretty, pretty, it's very pretty. I'm glad I can play this on mid-range settings. I think the most time I spend with DAV will be playing with photo mode and making new characters in CC to photograph.